Chief vs White Man

Old Indian Chief "Bald Eagle" was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine Man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

Pirate Joke

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I
haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with
a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What
happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship
and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted
with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of
birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You can't loose an eye from bird crap."

*The pirate replied "It was my first day with the hook."*

Hunting Season Joke

Jack and his buddies were discussing an upcoming hunting trip. Unfortunately, Jack had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Jack headed home, depressed.

Later on when Jack's buddies arrived at the hunting camp, they were shocked to see Jack. He was already there with a cold beer in hand, burgers cooking on the grille, gun cleaned and loaded, and a camp fire glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you come, Jack?" "I didn't have to," Jack replied.

"When I left you guys, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a brew to drown my sorrows. Then Bernice snuck up behind me, covered my eyes, and said, 'Surprise.'"

"When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through nightie and said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want!'"...

"So, HERE I AM!"

That's What Friends Are For - Funny Video

Poor kid. He thinks he's just playing a game...